


The importance of good shower pressure

by D_writes



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: F/F, I hope I rated this correctly, Nosebleed, accidental nudity, idiots to lovers, they are so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23856715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_writes/pseuds/D_writes
Summary: Dinah has secretly started using Helena's shower, until one day the assassin inevitably walks in on her.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 23
Kudos: 255





	The importance of good shower pressure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The "Helena Bertinelli thirst club" Tumblr group chat](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+%22Helena+Bertinelli+thirst+club%22+Tumblr+group+chat).



Dinah doesn’t mean to make it a habit. It’s just that the shower pressure at the warehouse is so much better than at her place, and the hot water doesn’t run out after five minutes. There are no suspicious black stains between the tiles, and no mold building up on the corner of the ceiling. Her favourite part is that she doesn’t have to shower inside a bathtub that is entirely too small to actually take a bath in it, and too narrow to avoid the cold plastic curtain sticking to her body.

So what? This is not the first time Dinah has takes advantage of some rich white person’s facilities. Her mother used to sneak her into the next door hotel swimming pool when she was a kid. This is no different.

Only it is, because the rich white person in question is Helena, who’s specifically said she could use the shower and the changing room anytime, and Dinah had specifically said no. It was a reflex, an outburst of pride. She didn’t need anyone’s charity, she could take care of herself. Helena had just shrugged and mumbled a “whatever, the offer still stands.”

So one day Dinah took up that offer, and boy was that a life-changing event.

At the top, there was one of those rain shower head, and right below a smaller one with just _divine_ pressure. The water temperature was constant, none of that boiling-one-second-freezing-the-next shit she had to deal with at home. It was as big a fucking walk in fridge and instead a curtain, it had a glass door. And Helena always left a few bottles of fancy shower gel: citrus, tropical fruits, lavender, you name it. They were all neatly lined up in a built in shelf, next to the almond oil Helena used to moisturise. Who would have thought.

It was love at first sight, and Dinah knew there was no turning back.

Yet, for some reason, she’s never told Helena. Dinah doesn’t like to admit she was wrong, and Helena can be a little cocky sometimes. If she’s learnt anything about her, it’s that she’s definitely one to hold a grudge. So Dinah’s been keeping an eye on her schedule and figured out the safest time to sneak in. If Helena ends up finding out, so be it: until then, she’ll enjoy the best shower in town and her impunity.

“Shit.”

It’s barely a whisper, but she hears it. Dinah turns immediately to see who cursed but the door shuts with a click, followed by the sound a number of objects falling heavily to the ground, a groan, some rattling, and finally another door closing in the distance.

* * *

_Fuck. Shit. Damn. Fuck._

Helena limps to her room and closes the door behind her. She sits on the bed. She methodically folds her towel and puts it next to her. She rests her hands on her knees. Then she just stares at an unspecified point in front of her in silence.

Her heart is pounding in her chest. She can’t even feel the pain in her foot, even if she just dropped a small dumbbell on it.

_Dinah. Naked. Shower._

Her mind is reeling.

_Skin. Dinah. Boobs._

Her eyes start moving side to side, looking for something to rest on.

_Butt. Legs. Dinah. Wait. Car. Book. Ok. Window. Boobs. No! Shelf. Chair. Dinah._

She stands back up, takes a couple of steps in one direction. Maybe moving will help.

_One step. Two steps. Three steps. Dinah. Fuck! Turn. Four steps. Dinah. Shut up! Five steps._

Her hands grasp the air as if to hold onto something, but there’s nothing to hold on to except the memory of Dinah under a stream of hot water, perfect bronze skin lathered in soap.

She didn’t mean to see her, and she surely didn’t mean to linger. But the shock was a bit too much for her poor little gay brain and to be honest she hasn’t seen a naked woman in a long time. Ok, if she counts herself out she hasn’t seen one since she was a little girl and that was well before she had realised she was into them.

_Dinah naked. Dinah hot._

Her brain has lost the little eloquence it normally has. Not only has she seen her first naked woman, it just so happen to be one of the most beautiful women she’s ever laid eyes on. One she’s had a hard time keeping her eyes off even when she’s fully clothed.

_Oh God. Oh my fucking God._

How is she going to look her in the eyes again? How can she face her when her brain is conjuring all sorts of inappropriate thoughts? Surely Dinah would be disgusted by them. To touch her? To kiss... no. Best case scenario, Dinah would laugh at her. That’d be humiliating enough. But most likely, she would feel repulsed. And that, Helena cannot bear.

There’s only one solution.

* * *

She knew it would happen. It was fun till it lasted, Dinah thinks. Now she has to face Helena, tail between her legs, and tell her that yes, she’s been using her shower, and yes, it’s much better than her own.

Maybe she’s overthinking this. Helena has never once been a dick to her. If anything, she’s been nothing but nice. She got the warehouse refurbished for them to train. She alway pays when they get food delivered. She keeps a spare pack of nicotine patches in her drawer even though she’s never smoked.

If she’s being fair, Helena has been real nice to her.

And that was... new. No one’s nice for free in Gotham. They always want something back, so maybe Dinah’s been a little extra wary. She doesn’t like to owe people anything. Accept the wrong favour once, and suddenly you’re a psycho murderer’s driver. She’s been there.

Then again, Helena’s not that kind of person. Hell, she would rather butcher her right arm than ask someone to help stitch her up. It took Dinah fifteen minutes and the threat of using her Canary cry to knock her out before she managed to convince her not to sew herself up with her left hand. Helena had looked at her with such confusion, as if no one had ever cared for her enough to give her a well intentioned, slightly hyperbolic ultimatum.

Fine, perhaps Dinah had developed a little soft spot for the assassin. Which was a problem. Not just because the chances of Helena getting herself killed were tremendously high - Dinah has already pulled three bullets from her body since they met. It’s not even because it was so clear that Helena was only there temporarily, and it’d be only a matter of time before she had enough of Gotham.

No, it was a problem because Helena was definitely not interested in being someone’s soft spot, and certainly not hers.

Dinah even tried to flirt with her for a while, see where that would take her. Well, turns out that takes her to a nice, clean nothing. Helena had started to avoid her and that, Dinah didn’t like. At all.

So she stopped, of course she did. Helena’s friendship mattered more than getting in her pants, and as much as it frustrated Dinah to no end, she would act like a decent human being and not make her straight coworker uncomfortable.

Which she may have done tonight, by showing up in her shower unannounced. Damn, Helena is always out on Thursday afternoons, she’s got therapy and then she always goes for a long ride.

Side note, Dinah’s so proud of her for starting to see Dr. Suarez. The first couple of months were rough, Helena had been like an exposed wire. Reliving her trauma must have been difficult, but she was doing so well. Dinah could tell she was struggling with something so painful it was tearing her apart. Harley used words like survivor guilt, PTSD, trauma bond. But Helena pulled through, and Dinah had been there to see the change.

Ok maybe she has a little more than a soft spot for her. A crush, one may say. An infatuation.

Which doesn’t matter, because now she needs to grow a pair and apologise to her for sneaking in her shower. There’s really no way around it.

She knocks.

* * *

The knock on her door startles her so much she drops her crossbow to the ground. The bolt get released, ending up on the ceiling.

“Fuck” she whispers.

“Helena, I know you’re there, I can hear you.”

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck._

Helena runs her hands though her hair, trying to find a way to escape. Maybe she can climb out of the window and down the fire escape ladder. Or she could crawl up the A/C vents? Maybe if she stands very still Dinah will just go away.

“Helena, I’m sorry! I know you’re mad, please open the door.”

Mad? She’s not mad, she’s mortified! Why would she be mad? Helena doesn’t like Dinah thinking she’s mad when she so obviously is not. She needs to keep it together an explain the misunderstanding. She opens the door just enough to show her face.

“I’m not mad” she mumbles. She tries to immediately close the door again, but Dinah is quick to push back.

“Yes, you are” she argues, but all Helena sees is the fact that she’s only wearing a towel, braids tied up in a loose bun, leaving her neck completely exposed.

Dinah must take the silence as a confirmation, and continues: “Look, I’m sorry, ok? I know it was a stupid thing to do and I should have just told you” she takes a step forward and Helena is absolutely not ready to be closer to her so she steps back. The door swings open and Dinah keeps moving closer “It’s just that my shower’s been acting up lately and my landlord is not going to fix it until...”

Dinah trails off when her eyes fall on the half-made suitcase on the bed.

“...are you leaving?”

“Yes.” Helena manages to say, trying to look at anything but her.

“What? Why?”

“That’s personal.” Helena’s voice comes out hoarse, like she’s choking on something.

“Come on, I said I was sorry! If it bothers you so much, I promise I won’t use your shower anymore. I know what you’re thinking-”

“I’m not thinking anything!” Helena cuts her off, full on panicking, “I have no thoughts about you whatsoever. You don’t know my thoughts.”

_Fuck! Idiot. Why did you say that?_

Dinah frown,slightly confused, then notices the redness on Helena’s neck, on the tip of her ears. She sees how the assassin is actively trying to avoid looking at her.

“Is this about... seeing me naked?”

“What? No.” She scoffs, hoping the lie is not too obvious. She wants to shut up, she really wants to, but there’s a part of her brain that somehow decides she should keep talking. “But on that matter: I-I didn’t mean to do that. It was an accident. I’m sorry. I feel horrible.”

“It’s no big deal, really.” Dinah says, now fully baffled.

“It’s unforgivable!” Helena argues “It was absolutely unacceptable behaviour, I- what are you doing?” her pitch is almost too high to be heard by humans when she sees Dinah reaching for the hem of her towel.

“It’s really not a problem, have you never never been to a sauna? Look, its' cool. See?” she says, opening her towel.

_Dinah. Naked. Boobs._

“Hey guys, are you going to eat those leftovers or...” Renee peeks from the door and blinks a few times at the sight of Dinah flashing Helena, who looks like she’s about to have a stroke. “Maybe close the door next time?” she comments.

_Skin. Dinah. Hot._

Renee and Dinah flip their heads synchronously at the sound of Helena’s body heavily hitting the floor.

“Oh my God, Helena!” Dinah calls, wrapping her towel back around her chest. They both leap forward, checking that she hasn’t split her head open or broken a rib.

“Jesus, Lance. Why don’t you just ask her out like a normal person?”

“Is that blood coming out of her nose?”

Renee pulls Helena’s eyelid up and gently slaps her face. Helena groans.

“She’s fine.” Montoya comments. Dinah sighs, relieved. “You showed her a titty and fucking floored her, Canary. Your boobs did more damage than the entire drug cartel we took down last month.” she chuckles.

“Very funny” Dinah mumbles, holding Helena’s head up, trying to wake her up.

“But seriously. Why are you two not dating already?”

“What do you mean? Helena’s straight.”

“Dinah, honey. No. Have you ever seen a straight person faint at the sight of a lady garden in full bloom? Of course not, only gay men and lesbians are that dramatic.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean she’s interested in dating me.”

“For God’s sake, Lance. Are you blind? Please just talk to her.” Renee pleads as she stands up.

“Where are you going?”

“Imma get out of here and eat those leftovers, I deserve it for all the stress you kids are putting me through. ”

* * *

Helena takes a few minutes to come back to consciousness. Her head is resting on something soft, and there’s a hand stroking her hair.

It feels nice.

Her nose is dry. Her foot hurts. Her head is pounding. She opens her eyes and the world feels bright and sharp. She blinks. Someone’s smiling above her. Is she dead? Is this an angel? Unlikely, she thinks. She’s definitely not ending up in Heaven, that’s for sure. Then who...

“Dinah” she lets out when she finally manages to make out her features. A shiver runs down her spine and she immediately springs up from the floor, almost launching herself against a desk and toppling over a picture frame in the process.

“Helena, please calm down” Dinah doesn’t know if she should be worried or amused. Helena touches her face and finds the rivet of blood under her nose.

“Shit” she mutters. Dinah offers a tissue and she begrudgingly takes it and pats her nostril.

“Can we talk? Like functional adults? Please?” Dinah asks. She takes a seat on the bed and pats the mattress for Helena to come next to her. There’s a hesitation, then she just gives in and limps to her spot.

She can’t help but notice Dinah’s collarbones are exposed above the towel and it’s really distracting, but she can do this. She can keep it together.

“You can’t leave town just because you saw me naked.”

“Says who?” Helena retorts, but only manages to sound like an angry teenager.

“Common sense? Helena, it’s ok. It was an accident.”

“But I...” Helena takes a deep breath, at the risk of restarting the flux of blood coming from her nose “I have these thoughts. I don’t think I’m supposed to have them. Not for you. You’re my friend, and coworker, and you’re going to think I’m a creep or something and you won’t hang out with me anymore.”

“What thoughts, Helena?” Dinah tries to encourage her, but she can see her shutting down. Helena shakes her head, too ashamed to talk.

“Alright. I’ll talk.” Dinah sighs “I think you’re very attractive and I want to kiss you. Like, all the time. There.”

Helena’s head snaps up, an almost fearful look in her eyes. Suddenly, all her thoughts come back with a vengeance, only this time they feel a bit lighter.

“W-what?”

“Please don’t make me say it again.”

“Me? You want to kiss... me? A woman? You’re into women?”

“Yes, and more specifically, I’m into you. Helena, are you into me?” Dinah continues, patiently, slowly articulating every word.

“I-I... yes?”

“I’m gonna need a bit more conviction.”

“I am... _so_ into you.” Helena breathes out, feeling her lungs completely empty after that simple sentence.

“Good” Dinah chuckles “this is good. How are you feeling? Please don’t faint again.”

Helena shakes her head, but is not sure she can keep her word on that.

“Now I’m going to kiss you” Dinah explains. She can see Helena’s eye grow a couple of sizes as she leans closer, and their first kiss is soon interrupted by a smile stretching Dinah’s lips. But that’s fine, cause there’s a second one, and a third, and soon enough there are hands running up her neck, holding her face, lips begging for contact, a little tongue even.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long” Helena breaths out.

“Helena?”

“Mh?”

“Your nose is bleeding again.”


End file.
